Remembering Life Doesn't Revolve Around Me.

Have you ever had a friendship or relationship where it sometimes feels one sided? You do all the listening and when you start to talk the other person talks over you? Or how about being asked to do stuff and you drop what your doing to make it happen; then when there's something you need or want to do it can't be done and no interest? I am usually the doer but recently I noticed I was the one talking over the other person.

For a few weeks now I have felt a feeling towards God that I can only describe as distant. He was there of course as He never leaves nor forsakes us, but He was quiet. I don't like quiet and I miss hearing Him. I couldn't peg what I was feeling and why it was happening. So as I do every day I walked to the river with Gabriel in thought, sat, opened up my phone, asked for a message on Youtube, and just like that, my answer. Lauren Daigle's Sincere Testimony. Yes I have heard she too is under fire for her faith yet I am not a fan of people's judgments towards other Christians. She is walking her path with Jesus as I am mine and He will guide her, not these other people putting her down. Back to me and my world! God spoke to her about how her singing was lacking the worshipping of Him that apparently she had had before. That was it in a nutshell for me! Since I left my part time job to work my summer business I had stopped my worship music. Even in the car and at the river. I usually drive with KLove on or at the river Youtube music with my little speaker. But instead I had been listening to informational things about God in my car and at the river which yes it's focus is on Jesus, God, and the Holy Spirit but it wasn't me singing my heart out loud to songs I loved about God.

It was God's ever so gentle way of communicating what He missed of me. I cried. It's a horrible feeling when you know you have been selfish towards the person you love. And I remembered just the day before while attempting to read His word my thoughts were all over the place; I heard Him snap "focus". I used to have a routine and He favored it by always telling me to keep doing what I was doing. I was reading, worshipping, attending church, seeking, blogging, etc. Well I fell off the wagon in a few areas and was being reminded of it. I was doing what I wanted to do and when I wanted to do it and spoke when I wanted to like my thoughts drifting and thinking what I wanted to think. The relationship became one sided and I was interrupting Him. Hence, silence. Who wants to be spoken over or ignored? I have had it happen to me in important relationships and it always left me sad in heart; frustrated I wasn't being seen or heard, as if my thoughts and needs didn't matter.

So I am sharing this with you dear reader in hopes you learn from my mistake. When you feel distant from God or He seems silent ask yourself the question, "what am I doing different with God?" Evaluate what you have been up to, ask Him what He needs. We are so quick in prayer with our gratitude and asking for our wants and needs we forget that we are here for God; our world is to revolve around God not the other way around. So I spent the next several hours singing and it felt good. I am also now going to add to my prayers asking what does God want and remember I need to silence myself so I can let Him speak! This is also a very good practice to do in your other relationships. Are you speaking over others? Are you listening, understanding, and being responsive to the speaker or are you lost in your thoughts and just hearing words?

Some thoughtful scripture:

Psalm 139:18 "God's thoughts toward you outnumber the grains of sand."

Matthew 13:16 " Of them ,Jesus said: "Blessed are your eyes, for they see: and your ears, for they hear."

Colossians 1:16 "All things were created for Him and by Him."

God created us to have a relationship; not for us to amuse Him. God is both creative and personable so He created beings that are also creative and long for relationship. This is the most important relationship a person can have and it is from this one it spills over to our other relationships with friends, family, even community.